Ground Control To Major Tom

So, I'm watchin' dat natgeo channel (or mebbe it was dat discovery channel) anyways, they was tawkin' about how, in about mebbe 5 BILLION years from now, the sun's gravitational pull was gonna pull the earth right smack dab into it. Finito. End of earth.

However, one them bright scientist fellows said we had the capability to send a rocketship clear out to the edge of the universe and put some kinda thrusters on a big@ssed asteroid ... and push dat big asteroid back here and set it to orbiting around the earth ... and gradually, over a period of mebbe some 300,000 years, dat big asteroid orbiting the earth would alter the earth's gravitational pull and set it into a different orbit around the sun ... thereby keeping us from smashing into the sun.

Well, dat's all well and good ... but I'm a simple man, and my question is: why don't we just put dem thrusters on the earth & alter our own damn orbit? huhhh????

Take your protein pills and put your helmet on <---click