Monday, November 30, 2009

Southern Girls

The first man married a woman from Colorado. He told her that she was to do the dishes and the house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

The second man married a woman from Michigan. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man married a girl fom THE SOUTH. He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he still didn't see anything ... but by the third day some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a boloney sandwich and load the dishwasher.

Got A Turkey Hangover?

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Cornbread & Butterbeans

Hot out the oven ~ skillet cornbread, baked in the ol' black iron schmeared wit bacon grease.

Let's eat!! (BTW, dat dark stain in the middle the cornbread is where the bacon grease pooled & baked into the bread. I think I'll cut dat part out and eat it for dessert!!)

Sunday vittles ~ butterbeans & hambone done, will bake some skillet cornbread at halftime of the Chiefies game. Hot cornbread wit a schmear of sweet butter & drizzled wit a lil' dat good Steen's molasses ... sided up wit a big ol' bowl of butterbeans & ham ... whooooboy, country boys can survive!! Go Chiefies!!

Is My Time Up?

A 45 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience.

Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?"

God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth!

Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was struck and killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"

God replied: "I didn't recognize you."

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Compound Blue Cheese Steak Butter

OK, so I salvaged some good quality cheeses from a leftover Thanksgiving cheese tray ~ Edam, Emmenthaler, Gruyere, Jarlsberg, Cheddar ... and a nice wedge of blue (Roquefort) cheese. Gonna use most of them to make a kicked-up mac & cheese, and decided to use the blue cheese to make a steak butter. Will slice the roll of steak butter into discs & stuff them inside burgers then bacon wrap/grill them ... and also place a disc on top of a grilled steak, then slide under a hot broiler for a few seconds to melt over the steak. Earlier this spring my friend Lil' Missy gave me a bunch of fresh herbs from her garden ... and I made a compound herb butter w/roasted garlic, rolled it up and froze. I used this herb butter (thawed/softened) to make the steak butter: blue cheese, roasted garlic herb butter, splash of woostershire, lotsa fresh cracked black pepper.

This is the steak butter all rolled up and chilled ~ about a 1/2 pound total (16 tablespoons) ... so I can slice it into 8 nice thick discs (each disc about 2 Tbsp) ... use 6 of the discs to stuff inside 6 big burgers, and 2 discs for melting over a big ol' grilled KC Strip steak. Ain't leftovers fun???

Friday, November 27, 2009

Grover's Salad ~ A Thanksgiving Tradition

This is my favorite uncle, Grover ... my dad's older brother. Uncle Grover was a bachelor most of his life, and until he married when he was in his 50's he spent every Thanksgiving at our house for Thanksgiving dinner. Moreso than any other holiday, Thanksgiving is about traditions ... and one of Uncle Grover's favorite things to eat on Thanksgiving was a salad that his Mom (my Grandma) always made, so every year my Mom would make that salad for him. It's an old fashioned cold fruit salad, made with pineapple chunks, lil' cubes of mild cheddar cheese & sliced bananas ... all tossed in a sweet/sour sauce made with the pineapple juice, sugar & a lil' vinegar & thickened with cornstarch.

Not many people in my family liked the salad (actually Uncle Grover and I are the ONLY ones that liked it) but Mom would make it every year, just for Grover. Uncle Grover died over 20 years ago, but Mom continued to make the salad every Thanksgiving until she passed away about 10 years ago ... and then I continued the tradition & began making it every year. We always just called it "Grover's Salad" ... I made it yesterday ... nobody ate it but me, but that's not important. What's important is that it made me think about my uncle for a couple hours. As long as I draw a breath, I'll continue to make Grover's Salad every Thanksgiving day ... you know ... family traditions and all dat.

This is my Dad and Uncle Grover. The picture was probably taken in the early/mid 30's ~ pretty snazzy threads for a couple of poor Kansas clod-hoppers, eh?

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Alice's Restaurant

Arlo Guthrie ~ Alice's Restaurant

"You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant
You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant
Walk right in it's around the back
Just a half a mile from the railroad track
You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant

The Last Waltz

Thanksgiving Day, 1976 ~ Winterland Ballroom
The Band W/Emmylou ~ Evangeline

Thanksgiving Morning Breakfast

Well BigDude, you talked me into cuttin' this quiche ... guess I gotta eat it now, eh? I recon tomorrow's breakfast menu just changed...

Hot out the oven ~ quiche jambon for breakfast tomorrow ... but it's smellin' mighty good ... it may not make it until breakfast. Gotta do a quality control check, don'tcha know.

Scratch pie crust, baked/smoked ham (diced), 3 cheeses ~ grueyer, cheddar and parmesan, ripe black olives and some diced roasted red pepper. Mebbe I'll have breakfast for supper tonight....

BBQ Ham Sandwich

Thanksgiving Dinner prep ramped up today ~ but I did find time to make a pretty tasty bbq ham sandwich. I have a lil' more of this good ham and some Gruyere cheese & black olives ... thinkin' that might make a good breakfast quiche for Thanksgiving morning.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Albuquerque Turkey

Here's a lil' sumpthin' sumpthin' special fer all you jive turkeys ~ Albuquerque Turkey ~ featuring the vocal stylings of yours truly. Feel free to sing along....

Monday, November 23, 2009

Tim O'Brien ~ Look Down That Lonesome Road

Down where that Southern rail crosses the Yella Dog
I met an old auctioneer, I heard his monologue
He said I got horses, I got mules, and I got sheep
Some I wanna sell boys, and some I wanna keep
Says I got a tale or two that I need to tell
Sit down beside me and rest yourself a spell
I've lived a good long life and I've got no regrets
Let me tell my story before I forget

Look down that lonesome road, before you travel on
I hate to say goodbye, so I'll just say so long

See the way that Bay horse rides, it seems just like a sin
That horse is broke in two, he lost his couplin pin
And yonder there's man a comin, bless his poor heart son
His head's all empty, his bread it's just not done
But look at that old mule here, the one with one lamp lit
He's about half blind but there's work in that mule yet
He'll pull a heavy load boys, I know him well
They never did give that mule no back up bell

Look down that lonesome road, before you travel on
I hate to say goodbye, so I'll just say so long

They say whiskey slows you down and clouds up your thinkin
But as long as they make whiskey I'd say we'll keep on drinkin
As long as life keeps hittin hard, a drink will help you to take it
And long as we drink whiskey, they'll continue to make it
Some folks have to slow down if they're maimed or lame
Other folks keep movin, keep rockin on just the same
I walk like an old fox, I shake my big old tail
Even though there's a hell hound he's sniffin on my trail

Look down that lonesome road, before you travel on
I hate to say goodbye, so I'll just say so long

Just kick this old dog, make real sure he's dead
Then find go another dog, don't you hang your little head
Gonna be a lot of livin after I am gone
I'll leave a little for you son, come get your share done

Look down that lonesome road, before you travel on
I hate to say goodbye, so I'll just say so long
Look down that lonesome road, before you travel on
I hate to say goodbye, so I'll just say so long

Tony Talks Turkey

Sunday Morning Omelette

4-egg black olive, green pepper & Emmenthaler cheese omelette ~ sided up wit some good baked ham.

I'm a big fan of hot sauce on my eggs ... and as you can see in this pic, I had my trusty bottle of Texas Pete nearby & ready to go ... BUT ... this omelette tasted SO good (it was the Emmenthaler) that I din't even put one drop of hot sauce on it. In addition to the visable cheese that I sprinkled on top ... this omelette is also filled with cheese on the inside. Emmenthaler rocks!

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Apple Cranberry Pie

“When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven ... choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not ... mmmmmmmm, boy!!” ~ Jack Handy

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Open-Faced Muffaletta

Italian bread, ham, provolone, hard salami, pepperoni & homemade olive salad made with good oil-cured olives.

Mais, without the olive salad ... it's just a ham & cheese sandwich.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Muffaletta Cheese Spread

Cream cheese, dollop of dijon, lil' mayo, some homemade olive salad made wit good oil-cured olives, good aged semi-soft Jarlsberg cheese, pepperoni, hard salami & ham

The savory muffaletta components

The shredded Jarlsberg cheese

Mix, mix ... everything blended smooth ... then some seasoning added (oregano, black pepper and a few red pepper flakes)

Schmeared on some crunchy/chewy toasted Italian crostini wit a few stuffed oil-cured olives

Man Of Constant Sorrow

Man Of Constant Sorrow

I am a man of constant sorrow
I've seen trouble all my day
I bid farewell to old Kentucky
The place where I was born and raised

For six long years I've been in trouble
No pleasures here on earth I found
For in this world I'm bound to ramble
I have no friends to help me now

It's fare thee well my old lover
I never expect to see you again
For I'm bound to ride that northern railroad
Perhaps I'll die upon this train

You can bury me in some deep valley
For many years where I may lay
Then you may learn to love another
While I am sleeping in my grave

Maybe your friends think I'm just a stranger
My face, you'll never see no more
But there is one promise that is given
I'll meet you on God's golden shore

Thursday, November 19, 2009

I Got A Brand New Companion

Townes Van Zandt ~ I Got A Brand New Companion

I got a brand new companion
Man, I'm gonna do right this time
I got a brand new companion
Man, I'm gonna do right this time
You know she cools me with her breathin'
Chases away those howlin' bottles of wine

She fits just like my guitar
Man, she's near as tall as me
She fits just like my guitar
She's near as tall as me
She lives way out the D train
But she's Texas as can be

She got a home-spun disposition
Lawd, she's just as gentle as you please
She got a home-spun disposition
Man, she's just as gentle as you please
She got arms just like two rattle snakes
Legs just like a willow in the breeze

I got a brand new companion
Man, I'm gonna do right this time
I got a brand new companion
Man, I'm gonna do right this time
I want to track her with my body
I want to trace her with my mind

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Watchin' My Girlish Figure

Yeah, dat's right ... it's a salad. I try to choke one down every 3-4 months or so. I'm good on salads now until next spring.

The baked ham was good ... but I think mebbe it coulda used a lil' bacon on it too. In my defense, I did make some homemade garlic croutons ~ but truth tolt, even with homemade blue cheese dressing & homemade croutons ... a salad is just a salad.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Fresh Bread Fer Stew Soppin'

Well, wit the weather gone nasty snowin & such ... I made a big ol' pot of beef stew wit some good beef sirloin and lotsa fresh hearty winter root veggies, thick and savory ~ but I needed a lil' bread fer soppin' so I hauled off and baked these yeast rolls. Amazing what you can do with a lil' flour and a hunger on ya, eh?
Doc & Dawg ~ What Is A Home Without Love

Monday, November 16, 2009

Have Yer Cake And Eat It Too

I Like Cake

Well, I hadda couple three ripe bananas so I hauled off and baked a lil' cake ... started out to be just a banana cake wit cream cheese frosting, but after I was done bobbin 'n weavin' it ended up being a banana/apple cake wit a wild sand plum/cream cheese frosting. Yeh, I licked the frosting bowl ... and the beaters ... and the spatula. My mama din't raise no fool...

Hadda couple granny smith apples, so i grated them into the banana cake batter ... and also put a couple big dollops of homemade wild plum jam in the frosting ~ dat's why the frosting got a slight purple tint to it.

Fat Johnny's In-Depth Sports Analysis


Sunday, November 15, 2009

Baked Bone-In Ham

Well, I hauled off and baked a big ol' ham ~ shank half, glazed with some dat good Steen's Cane Syrup & a couple other things I had on hand (homemade sand plum jam, homemade mustard, etc) ... baked it lowdown & lonesome for about 3-4 hours ... then let'er cool down & sliced it up tender. Thinkin' ham & eggs might be good for breakfast this morning. I saved all the ham stock & got dat big ol' ham bone with lotsa meat still on it ... and wit cold snow in the forecast, I garrontee a pot of ham & beans gonna materialize ... wit some mile-high cornbread ... yeh.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Caitie & Me

This is my favorite niece, Caitie, when she was home for the holidays last year ~ ain't she a cutie-patootie? Looking forward to seeing you in a few weeks, Cait ~ safe travels. (Have you got yer favorite uncle his Christmas present yet ... huhhhh??) XXXOOO
B.B. King ~ Sweet Little Angel

Friday, November 13, 2009

Beware Of The Phog

The road to the Final Four begins tonight. Rock Chalk!!

Got The Blues??

If you are new to Blues music, or like it but never really understood the why and wherefores, here are some very fundamental rules:

1. Most Blues begin with: "Woke up this morning..."

2. "I got a good woman" is a bad way to begin the Blues, unless you stick something nasty in the next line like, "I got a good woman, with the meanest face in town."

3. The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes - sort of: "Got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Yes, I got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher and she weigh 500 pound."

4. The Blues is not about choice. You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a ditch ... ain't no damn way out.

5. Blues cars: Chevys, Fords, Cadillacs and broken-down trucks. Blues don't travel in Volvos, BMWs, or Sport Utility Vehicles. Most Blues transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Jet aircraft and state-sponsored motor pools ain't even in the running. Walkin' plays a major part in the Blues lifestyle. So does fixin' to die.

6. Teenagers can't sing the Blues. They ain't fixin' to die yet. Adults sing the Blues. In Blues, "adulthood" means being old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.

7. Blues can take place in New York City but not in Hawaii or anywhere in Canada . Hard times in Minneapolis or Seattle is probably just clinical depression. Chicago, St. Louis, Kansas City, Memphis, and Nawlins are still the best places to have the Blues. You cannot have the Blues in any place that don't get rain.

8. A man with male pattern baldness ain't the Blues. A woman with male pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg 'cause you were skiing is not the Blues. Breaking your leg 'cause a alligator be chomping on it is.

9. You can't have no Blues in an office or a shopping mall. The lighting is wrong. Go outside to the parking lot and sit by the dumpster ... in the rain.

10. Good places for the Blues : (a) highway; (b) jailhouse; (c) empty bed; (d) bottom of a whiskey glass.

11. Bad places for the Blues: (a) Nordstrom's (b) Gallery openings (c) Ivy League institutions; (d) Golf courses.

12. No one will believe it's the Blues if you wear a suit, 'less you happen to be an old person, and you slept in it.

13. Do you have the right to sing the Blues? Yes, if: (a) You're older than dirt; (b) You're blind; (c) You shot a man in Memphis ; (d) You can't be satisfied. No, if: (a) You have all your teeth; (b) You once were blind but now can see; (c) The man in Memphis lived; (d) You have a 401K or trust fund.

14. Blues is not a matter of color. It's a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the Blues. Sonny Liston could have. Ugly white people also got a leg up on the Blues.

15. If you ask for water and your darlin' gives you gasoline, it's the Blues. Other acceptable Blues beverages are: (a) Cheap wine; (b) Whiskey or bourbon; (c) Muddy water; (d) Black coffee. The following are NOT Blues beverages: (a) Perrier; (b) Chardonnay; (c) Snapple (d) Slim Fast.

16. If death occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it's a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So are the electric chair, substance abuse and dying lonely on a broken-down cot. You can't have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or while getting liposuction.

17. Some Blues names for women: (a) Sadie (b) Big Mama; (c) Bessie; (d) Fat River Dumpling.

18. Some Blues names for men: (a) Joe (b) Willie (c) Little Willie; (d) Big Willie.

19. Persons with names like Michelle, Amber, Jennifer, Debbie, and Heather can't sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis .

20. Blues Name Starter Kit: (a) Name of physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, etc.); (b) First name (see above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Peach, etc.); (c) Last name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.) For example: Blind Lemon Jefferson, Pegleg Lime Johnson or Cripple Peach Fillmore, etc.

21. I don't care how tragic your life is: if you own a computer, you cannot sing the blues, period. Sorry.

Pork Chops Sauce Picante

How much rice you think I need to make, to sop up about a quart this red gravy, huhhh???

Couple pork chops atop some dat good fluffy Louisiana rice ~ smothered wit a lil' spicy roasted tomato sauce picante.

There's so many good things in this savory red gravy, it taste much mo'bettah than good, ah garrontee ... make me wanna slap my mama fer not makin' it so good ~ might be the best red gravy I ever made. I cain't tell you what's in it, though ... else I'd hafta kill ya, yeh.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Burritos Gone Wild

OK ... so I ground up a whole beef brisket the other day ... made burgers ... made chili ... made bolognese ... made burrito filling ... and here's a couple them burritos smothered in queso & homemade chili. It didn't suck.

Topped with some dat good shredded Tillamook sharp cheddar, homemade pickled jalapenos ... and chased wit a frosty mug of beer. Did I mention it didn't suck?
Sarah Lee Guthrie ~ Mornin's Over

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Sam Stone

Freedom Isn't Free

When They Come

Lay me down in the cold cold ground
Where before many more have gone
Lay me down in the cold cold ground
Where before many more have gone

When they come I will stand my ground
Stand my ground I’ll not be afraid

Thoughts of home take away my fear
Sweat and blood hide my veil of tears

Once a year say a prayer for me
Close your eyes and remember me

Never more shall I see the sun
For I fell to a German's gun

Lay me down in the cold cold ground
Where before many more have gone
Lay me down in the cold cold ground
Where before many more have gone

Where before many more have gone


In memory of Sgt. Charles Stuart MacKenzie
Who along with many others gave up his life
So that we can live free

We will remember them

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Ground Brisket Burrito Filling

Well, I'm gettin' my money's worth out of this brisket I ground the other day ~ made burgers, chili, meatballs & bolognese with it ... AND ... just used the last of it to make this burrito filling.

Ground brisket, onions, couple kinds of green chiles, fresh garlic, diced fried potatoes, herbage & spices, couple dollops homemade corn/black bean salsa, splash or two of hot sauce...

Gonna let it cool down, then shredded in some dat good Tillamook cheddar & make a dandy burrito filling ... thinkin' I might smother 2-3 dem burritos wit some dat homemade chili fer supper tonight.

Shells W/Bolognese & Meatballs

Well, I hauled off and made a big pot of chili yesterday ... and went ahead & made a couple meatballs and some bolognese sauce while I was at it ~ had chili and bolognese sauce going at the same time. Why? Because I can, dat's why.